Dreams destroyed by reality (To Aida)

Wake up, wake up and be with me – I hear in my sleep

though hardly, I open my eyes and you are there

Why do you wake me? I ask.

Why do you come back in to my life, tell me , please

Why do you destroy my rare , peaceful dreams

After I’ve convinced myself I’m over you?

I am sorry-she says

if I’ve mistaken

I was brought to you buy the same

that put I together.

I haven’t seen you way too long

too long for his beating heart, damned,

I’ve cursed the life, you, the damned road

because no more him you are bringing.

And life went on

the war time, they say, passes slow

we’ve sent boys to the wars yaws

but the thump of their feet woke me

Oh god hear he comes.

Many times heart then

Wished through a RIKU of grenades,

FIJUK GELERA VRELIH, The son rule again

instead of screams coming out of the daring people’s drinks.

I live of memories

that I would not let fade

I’ve disregarded all the warnings

waiting and on the each step I take

threatening, hurting and always, always following.

Because I wanted to love you

though you are not here

I cursed you, God, you to whom I pray

why was I sent down the road of pain

to live in a dream without an end.

Thousands of scorching felt far from me

because tirelessly I waited for you

but one close my lids

and murdered my heart, already burnt

with which I fortuned myself .

Because from you I did not hear

although I spent days waiting to hear your voice

but you tucked your heart down your heels

though you did know that it is only required release.

And alone I'm now

next to the soldiers- sehits I lie

convincing my heart how sad is my poem

and for eternity there will be the entire blackest gloom

but still it makes me lean to thee

Although it knows that we are forever gone.

And only sometimes at the bottom of the deepest loneliness

when in this grave like a in hell I fry

I wish instead of soldiers, sehits, stillness

if only you next to me could lie.

I wish if at least then we could feel moments of happiness

when in this heathen world

they commit darkest crimes, as if they do not know they will die

and they make of people victims

of the living the dead

because they shoot at them as in a living target.

But there is justice, but there is a God

only now I know

man becomes aware of this all

only when left alone

in a corner of some tomb

in the hole dug out for that one

when on the way of celestial space high and distant

and when the heat of past evil begins to burn

which will some, for sure I know,

to ashes and dust turn

because they never felt the suffering and shame

and they have, and they have great evil deeds done.

While under heavy soil she is laying

he is still above

like a spider trapped in another’s net feeling

his heart is wavering like a sea in storm.

But this is not all

male is the biggest whore

whatever happens, it does not matter, any evil,

just like a third hand, he is not real.

While his girlfriend dies

he is far away from home

with a single thought, so his desire subsides

he seeks you on the other side of lust seldom.

She fell down dead

her heart by a hot shrapnel scattered

immense love which is in him stopped

the dirty asphalt overflowed.

For just a moment longer her eyes

wide open were

sad look was the look her

while a sad melody played in her head

music of thousands of bells.

He was then in another woman’s embrace

spending moments of a full happiness

and he knew about her

and her hours long, full, full of sorrow

to which she will never return.

Because she fell down

thinking he belongs solely to her

for his unfaithfulness she did not know

with love she waiting for him, hour by hour,

every single moment.

She was buried

without him knowing she was even dead

a small procession, people prayed

but he had not heard though everybody had known.

From the moment of her death

a month, two and three passed

and then two more phases of the moon

before he could learn.

He tried not to believe

tempted his heart

he called but was unable to hear

he wondered what game heavens tailor here.

I went to her home

red of blood

dark of the ominous shadow

of evil that her life crushed.

And someone told him her address

a tiny grave in the corner alone

carried by his feet, he went on his own

before he had heard the sad drama.

Graves bordered with bushes

Graves freshly filled within

A heavy air, the throat is drying

Thumping in the head, the soul is hurting.

Her name in green letters

He sees only the initial letters

Winds beat his soul

Swaying him like a house with a roof above.

Twenty years of hers hardly counted at all

Oh, God, doesn’t it seem

She is a bit too small

Her life was only about to begin.

In a real sense, about to begin

And you took it while so young still

Didn’t even get to pick

Tasty life’s fruits for real.

Over the grave, still he stands

As if before the court of God

Counting his sins, one by one

In a life crazy spent.

And he begs God and those across

To be hit by a grenade

During this insane war-age

And be lay next to her grave

Through thick Earth’s veins

To tell her in a grave silence, aat least then:

“In my heart still love will reign!”

I read

All, all is dead, eyes, breath and hands

I understood

They were killed by my heart

That didn’t understand from the start

It was loved and to love

Because it was once, but once before

Something in him similar

And it knows how it hurts

When without return is the love of yours.

And her heart was

The spring of love heated up to shining

Happiness, love, were all that was dreamt

But the reality destroyed the dreams

Like a castle made of cards.

Eighteen months have passed

She put cards SLAGALA

Slowly, UPORNO, one by one

In her chest, love and pain were weighted

All for, and all for one love

Worthless

Of pain and suffer

Because he did not know

How to love her.

In his heart, darkness, the blackest night, evil

A heart that was never a fertile ground

For love, gentleness, truth

Because all sing merely an aria, so sad,

Love – what is that?

Something unsensible, invisible,

Something unknown to this heart of stone.

Not known

Not acknowledged

For love never existed

It is a lie in a colourful disguise

Scaling slowly over the time

Becoming dark, darker, ugly, uglier

Until, at last,

As always, nothing is left but the rust

That neither contains light nor shine

But suffocates on its own scent

Implying the upcoming end is a must

Moving through body until broken, torn, LOMI KRSI I RUSI

All that resembles love

Thoughts, nice and dear

That sink into the abyss appear

Full of scorching evil, envy and lies

Their scent creates ghostly dunes

In vane the light seeks small clues

Because there are not here

Nor were they ever there

Under the cape hidden her scheme awaits

And around her all the evil descends

And the evil will do its best

She is not noticed by a single eye

So it only guards and watches

So the light does not descend the invisible path on land

Followed by love, happiness and unison

No, not here – no wellbeing feet may come in

Because life goes on

Because the evil is around

Yes, yes, you that live – thank the evil

Because happiness to nowhere will lead

It is worse than the worst evil deed

And if you put your foot down the path of luck

Know

In the end, in an evil-cloak

Each path, like that one, ends its walk.

And if someone does make an attempt

To take from your heart the dark and evil-meant

And replace it with love and commitment

Deeply they will regret

Because they have brought death onto themselves

She wanted

Thought it was worth it

Thought she lived in the empire of darkness long enough

That the time has come forth

For her to see finally the sun

Feel its rays, so soft and sweet

Like a music of thousands of bells

Lurking and astonishing with their beat

Transfer grey days in days of light

But she couldn’t make it, she never might

Have seen the beauty of the world

Because evil took her life before

And she was a woman with a heart of a child.

Evil itself dug out her grave all alone

And wanted to take it under its own

And with spite, with envy poisoned the ground

In which they put the body of the love of mine

But her beautiful blue eyes

Would not let around

The nets of envy to be knitted

Because enough it already darkened

Let her be at least until

Her bones are in the grave

To live with dignity the life of humanity.

You took her love

His heart nailed with darkness and hate

So not even in the womb of the land

He may explain to his heart, sad and tormented,

What happened

And what was in his heart hid because, on

the screen of the radar, life is nothing but a blot.